I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
