i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
