not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
