Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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