You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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