Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
