Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
