I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
