He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
