Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
