the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Did I show you my penis last night?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
