I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize