Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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