Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
