If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
