There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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