yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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