I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
