If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
