New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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