Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize