yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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