I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Enjoy the penises
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
