yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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