where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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