So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
