We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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