Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize