hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
