Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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