is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
