Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
