he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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