what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
