ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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