Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
