How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
