Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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