she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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