That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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