Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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