Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
