between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
