Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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