he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
