At least make sure they are 18
Why
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
