Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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