u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
