people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize