Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
...so i touched it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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