break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
