honey bunches of taint.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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