It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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