he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
God, I missed his penis.
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