I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
