So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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