it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
