It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This baby is an asshole
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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