You're completely useless in the revolution.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
