Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
