playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
a search helicopter?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
