Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
