now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
