fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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