Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
