I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
