Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
