She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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