Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
