I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just threw up on my dentist
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
