"it" just moved
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
