HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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