jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
