His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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