remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she looked like the before picture.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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