hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
