Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm really busy with my period
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